Anger is energy, and most of the time we misdirect our energy. If we spend our energy complaining, pointing fingers of blame and concentrating on who’s “right” and what’s “wrong”, instead of talking like adults and honestly try to understand and heal the situation, maybe learning to peacefully respond to each unique circumstance rather than reacting to them, to learn that we are, in fact, only draining away the creative energy it takes to solve the problem. Instead of bringing a catalyst for change, anger becomes an excuse for staying stuck.
When anger is nurtured there are no winners. It truly doesn’t matter who’s “right” or who’s “wrong” because, the end result is that all the parties become losers. Relationships are lost, experiences are forgotten, so the “ego” can be satisfied. We all have patterns. Coming to terms and understanding our individual pattern is paramount to moving beyond it and changing them.
Relationships requires two or more people to be involved in. There is just so much one can do when others don’t want, or refuse to participate. Saying the things they don’t accept, or what is in me that makes them uncomfortable with themselves, then walking away or shutting me down is not communication, but the most primitive form of bullying. However, it is not, and it should never be a reason for my anger and ego to emerge. These are the moments the universe tests us. To see if we have learned the lessons it has been trying to teach us…I, yet again, failed on mine…For me, I know I must practice what I have learned so far, and it is not always easy.
As I work towards clearing anger from my life, I discover it is intertwined in my core, even more deeply that I ever imagined…
Anger is purely generated from my fears, ghosts, insecurities, unresolved business within myself, ego and self-pride. It is nothing more than a defense mechanism created to hurt others but, in the end, it only hurts one person: Myself.
When I fear or hurt, my ego reacts and get up in arms, fighting to convince me that is not my fear but someone elses’ actions and attitudes. However, it only takes me an honest look inside myself to see what’s hidden beyond the anger.
Once I move past anger I find a place where harmony and balance is more important than my own fears, where honesty to myself is stronger than the careless needs and creative lies of my ego. I discover a childlike spirit, a quiet and peaceful energy, a non-judging presence that offers a quiet refuge from the storms of anger and frustrated expectation.
No, I am no angel. I still get frustrated, mostly trying to tame my wild self-serving ego. It tells me, most of the time, that I must be right, that I must win….Win what? I ask. There is nothing to be won besides pride that will last the next 5 minutes, if that long…and, on the other side of the same token, there is so much to be lost…so many possibilities and opportunities for growth, healing, learning, self discovery, sharing, acceptance, forgiveness, laughter, friendship and love, to say a few.
To learn and control this super inflated ego, it is a daily exercise, and it is true that sometimes, I too fail. However, knowing the path that leads back to the center, where joy, and harmony, and love resides, makes it easier to shush this “mad” ego I have allowed to grow out of proportion and focus on what is important…
Understanding that people have different healing levels, letting others find their own path. Accepting that, sometimes there is nothing else you can do but let them go, to be free to find their own center, their own self and send them love and forgiving energy. This, I find, is a much better and fruitful way to make use the energy that is created from a place of harmony and love.
Simplicity is…a peaceful heart and a quiet spirit.
- Opening to Miracles from the Inside Out. ~ Syma Kharal (elephantjournal.com)
- Developing a Habit of Quiet Time and Using it for Spiritual and Personal Growth (donnagoddard.com)
- Healing (truthtrips.wordpress.com)