by N. B. Cardoso
“What if I told you that your every conflict, disappointment, struggle, or challenge with others and yourself, was merely a manifestation of what is going on within your own thinking. Would you go there to fix, mend, and allay?”
It is so easy to judge others when one have never walked in their shoes, never have been through the hardships they have, or found themselves in situations which caused choices made, with the options they had at the time, to be made. Only when one is open and willing to take time to learn all the sides of the story, no matter how uncomfortable and painful it can be, can one have a small glimpse and maybe understand the reasons, feelings and thoughts behind it all. Until then, nobody has the right to judge nor hold anyone hostage to their past based on the limited information they have. We all make mistakes, we all make wrong choices, we all screw up sometime, we all need forgiveness and acceptance here and there…
This is a lesson I am learning in more ways than others. It is not an easy one, it rubs wounds I have chosen sort of forget and not look at for a very long time, but I keep seeing the story repeating itself all over again, and it makes me realize that the time to face, heal and let it go of those wounds have arrived. Ego wants to walk away and let the stones fall where they might, but I have learned that ego is selfish, blind and wrong most of the time. Many wounds have been faced and healed in the last 6 years, some easier than others and some, like this one, I kept pushing trying to avoid, but time has arrived to face this ghost. This pattern cannot continue, and the power to stop here with me, and not continue is within me.
I might not know now who will still be with me, or who will I lose along the way, and that is a very scary thought, it almost freezes me and makes me want to stop. I am fully aware I cannot change or make others love, respect nor accept me in spite of my past mistakes, but I am sure, by the time I get to Graduation Day I will have learned to love, respect and accept myself a little more. I am certain I will have become a better being, a better friend, a better soul, a better parent, a better partner, a better me.
Namaste.
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