“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide
Frequently, I find myself thinking about the past, somewhat reliving the past. Not in an attempt to change what had happened, but to understand what has happened and try to learn as much as possible, so I won’t repeat the same mistakes again.
Like most people, I’ve been hurt. For a long time, when I was young, I held onto those aches and pains because I wasn’t sure how to handle them.
Like most people out there, I would act like they never occurred. I’d put on a facade that I was all right, and often ignored or overlooked the person or thing that harmed me. I’d feel somehow okay, but the problem still lay there, dormant, waiting for a rude awakening that could occur at any given moment. Eventually, off course, they’d come back to me, usually when I was at my weakest, and, not surprisingly, do more damage than they had before.
With age, however, I have somehow became wiser – thank God for that – today I am not the kind of person who likes to duel on past issues. I am a big believer that what has happened had a reason for happening and, after being dealt with, is to be left where it belong…in the past…
I am one to confront issues face to face and then let them rest….however when you depend on someone else to understand the words and actions they have committed in order to have closure and that person, differently from you, doesn’t have what it takes to look you in the eyes and communicate, what can you do??? This task then, becomes something more complicated and you will have to be more creative and patient in order to achieve the closure you are looking for… there are 2 thoughts that comes to mind to help me deal with the problem:
The thing about getting hurt is that it’s a long process. It starts with a physical or emotional attachment, followed by a disturbance that makes it clear you have to let go, and eventually a phase where you have to accept what has happened, try to understand to the best of your power, and then start rebuilding yourself.
The past can be full of disappointment. The best mentality to have is that your past led you to where you stand at any given moment in time. That means you can now take your future in any direction you wish.
Everyone has their “shore.” The stories we relive in our heads for understanding and closure. When we hold on to that shore, we can never grow or become better. Once we find the strength and courage to accept our past, we will then find new lands and new oceans.
I have found it a lot easier to stay open to those new oceans after I realized: the human heart becomes a lot stronger after it breaks.
This is so true, I’ve been hurt, I am still holding on to some of this, but through this, I know not all is bad, because I am meant to be here, in this place, be it for making me stronger, or for bringing thing to a clearer picture, whatever it is, if things had not occured the way they have…