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Archive for April 18th, 2014

by Lori Deschene

“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” -William Arthur Ward

I read somewhere once that we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions and other people by their actions. In other words, we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, whereas we’re more apt to assume other people mean to be cruel, inconsiderate, or hurtful when they make poor choices.

I suspect this is a survival strategy: We need to believe that we are good people in order to live with ourselves, and we want to quickly assess which other people aren’t to make sure that they won’t hurt us. It’s a mental shortcut, if you will-the sooner you discover the worst in people, the sooner you can plan how to protect yourself.

But what it if we decided that just like us, most other people mean well, and then instead of fearing the worst, focused on finding the best? What if instead choosing to believe that people are out to get us, we choose to see beyond the wall we all build around ourselves and look for the good and possibilities behind it.? What if we put all our energy into recognizing the light in other people, and in doing so, brightened the light within us?

Whenever I choose to believe in someone else, it awakens a sense of possibility inside me. It makes me feel more connected to other people, more empowered to collaborate with them, and more passionate about what we can all accomplish if we work with each other, not against each other.

‘Yes, I know, sometimes it doesn’t work that way and regardless of how many chances you give to someone they still manage to disapoint you, but that is also part of life. I also heard that practice makes it perfect so I choose to believe that. I know that with practice I’ll become more proficient on finding more people who are worth of my faith than the ones who are not.’

When you feel tempted to focus on another person’s flaws, ask yourself: What good qualities are you overlooking, and what possibilities could you create if you focused more on those?


About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She is the author of the Tiny Wisdom eBook series (which includes one free eBook) and Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself. She’s also the co-founder of the eCourse Recreate Your Life Story: Change the Script and Be the HeroFollow @tinybuddha for inspiring posts and wisdom quotes.

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