By Lori Deschene
I suspect we try to change and fix other people because we’re acutely aware of our own imperfections and don’t want to deal with the pain of recognizing them in others.
When you think about, everything we see in other people represents something going on in our own heads and hearts.
We recognize selfishness-or what we interpret as selfishness-because we’ve been selfish before. We see fear, impatience, and annoyance-or what we assume those things look like-because we’ve felt them before.
Maybe the key to loving other people is accepting that they aren’t any different from us. Or as Erin Lanahan wrote in her post 5 Ways to Feel More Love & Compassion for Yourself and Others:
“I know you hurt, just like me, and you feel joy, just like me. You worry and feel scared sometimes, just like me. You have bad days, just like me, and you have amazing days, just like me. You are seeking, just like me. You want to believe in love, just like me.”
When feeling frustrated with someone you love, ask yourself: How can I give the type of love that I would like to receive?
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Sam Keen
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She is the author of the Tiny Wisdom eBook series (which includes one free eBook) and Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself. She’s also the co-founder of the eCourse Recreate Your Life Story: Change the Script and Be the Hero. Follow @tinybuddha for inspiring posts and wisdom quotes.
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